I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
