So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
