we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize