We're facebook friends in real life
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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