just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
