After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
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youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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