It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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