Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Text me some of your sweat
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize