perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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