In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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