As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
