just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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