Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
