Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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