she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
