okay pat passed out under dana's car
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
