new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
