if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
