So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
