I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
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