the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
