I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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