I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
