I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Small penises have feelings too.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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