The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
