i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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