Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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