she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
