Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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