Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My Higher Power is John Stamos
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
