Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
