Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
