There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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