u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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