the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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