I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
