Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
