Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
