Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
