the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He passed out mid-signature
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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