worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
