I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize