it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize