After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize