Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Randomize
