party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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