Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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