is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
not ubering you a puppy
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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