It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
