im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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