So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
