found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
