I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
