a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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