I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
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Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
And then my night got REAL pukey
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
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You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize