She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
