Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
