her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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