I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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