WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I could fuck to npr.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
