i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
